by Dillon Farnum
July 26, 2006
Fifteen-year-old teenybopper Morgan Reike couldn't believe it. In all honesty, it shocked the uneducated bulk of America. Regardless, it has happened, and girls across the nation cannot get a firm grasp on the fact that Lance Bass is officially gay.
"I swear he was singing to me! How is this so? I'm going to my room and never coming out again! I hate you all!"
Though Morgan's words echoed across Wisconsin to Lake Michigan (and some of Northern Illinois), the singer brought up an interesting point. Lance Bass had stated to People Magazine that "I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything."
As your most reliable gossip columnist, I feel it is safe to say that I wasn't the first one to see it coming...
Let this shocking photograph settle in your digestion before you continue your internet browsing routine to your Myspaces and your instant messengers and your "badger badger badger mushroom" videos.
Gossip Columnist Dillon Farnum has Gaydar.