by Eugene Delacroix, Auto Zone Drone #034
Sept. 24, 2006
Dude, look what we did to that sign!
You see that, Dwight? That's some top-notch work. That'll show Jenny Lurleen and the rest of those Burger King losers. Yeah, that's right. Losers! And they're looking for more losers now that I changed their sign. Did you know you could change "closers" into "losers" that easily?
Aw, come on, Dwight, lighten up! You know us boys gotta let off some steam! Hey, now that the sign is like that, maybe your brother will end up applying there. He he. Just kidding there, buddy.
I've been waiting for four days to do this. I wanted to on Wednesday, but you're the only one who has a key to access the utility closet that has the pole with the suction cups on it. I guess I coulda asked Chris, but you know how it is with him. Managers don't really get the pranks now, do they?
Oh, man. What a day. Man, it was classic earlier, when you treated that homo like he was a moron. Can't say he didn't have it coming to him. First off, who owns a foreign pickup? What with the four-cylinder no-go...and the worst part was he said it was an automatic when you tried to sell him one of those skull shifter knobs on the counter. I bet he didn't even have extended cab or four rear wheels.
Yep. Well, I guess I'm off. Watching the race tomorrow? Number 17, baby, burning rubber! Lemme get ma things here. Alright Dwight. Later man.
Hey man, what you looking at me like that for? That's right, I'm taking an oil filter for my Dakota. Who cares if it's on blocks, Dwight. I gotta work on it. Come on, man, ain't you ever heard "One Piece At A Time" by Johnny Cash?
Besides, what you gonna do? I caught you behind the dumpster with Wanda last week bro. He he. What were you thinking? Since there's a brick wall surrounding the dumpster, that was classier than the alley? Just write the filter off on the damaged inventory. Hell, that's what the box is there for on the form, ain't it?
I think I'ma go over to the BK and rub it in a little bit with Jenny, ask her if she's the shift leader for losers. Then I'm gonna ask her out again. Did you see her smoking outside before she started her shift today? Damn. There's just something about a woman with a horse T-shirt tucked into black jeans that drives me crazy.
Dwight, that's just your opinion. You might think she's slow. But hey, she's smart enough to stay away from Virginia Slims unlike the rest'em bitches. One of these days she's gonna say yes, and we're gonna head off to Six Flags. She'll think it's so romantic, we won't be able to keep our hands off each other in line for the coasters.
Later.