by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Feb. 10, 2007
BOSTON- A financial analyst has filed a lawsuit against Internet giant Google alleging that the company inappropriately used her name on the main page for their e-mail service, Gmail. The alleged violation occurs on a fake cell phone in an advertisement by Google to "Get Gmail on your mobile phone." The phone, containing fake e-mail subjects, contains the name of a woman, Caitlin Roran, with the subject, "Surprise Party," sent out on September 13.
However, the 31-year-old Massachusetts native is not relishing the new found fame of her name appearing on a popular website. "I can't stand surprise parties," Roran stated in a statement released by her lawyer. "It is offensive to me that I will now forever be associated with surprise parties."
No representative from Google would respond to the lawsuit, but a source, on condition of anonymity, claimed that all of the names featured on the fake cell phone are associated with someone known to one of the higher-ups in the Google hierarchy. According to the source, the Caitlin Roran for which the ad was named after was a friend of a Google employee. Tragically, that Caitlin Roran died ten years ago in a freak water skiing accident.
"I suppose, in this country, Ms. Roran has grounds for a lawsuit," says The Underground Nincompoop legal analyst Frida Chiapetta. "If someone can sue a company for pouring coffee on themselves or for suing Michael Jordan for looking like him, well, anything can happen. Basically, I'm saying this case will probably be thrown out fast."
However, one of the legal hurdles that Google faces is that Gmail is a website. Unlike books or films which have disclaimers against fictional characters' names being related to real people, Gmail features no such claim on their site, opening up the door for potential lawsuits.
Another name on the cell phone, Nathan Wood, has an e-mail subject under his name, "BBQ on Saturday." Nathan Wood, a 44-year old cellist from Chicago, has no qualms with the use of his name. "I'm a vegetarian, but hey, if I'm hosting a barbecue according to Gmail, well, what the hell do I care? It seems like more trouble to go through all the legal matters. Plus, I grew up with the last name Wood. Do you know how much I was made fun of once the other dudes found out slang words for an erection?"
Caitlin Roran could not be reached for comment about her lawsuit. The Underground Nincompoop researched as to whether any other Caitlin Rorans existed and the closest name we could find was Katelyn Rowan, a homemaker living in the Baltimore area. She refused to comment on the matter, claiming that she is a devoted user of Yahoo! Mail.
A movie that Caitlin Roran refuses to watch.