Aug. 8, 2006
I'm looking for a new yes man. My last one was in a very unfortunate paper shredder accident and I need a new one as soon as possible. There will be modest pay with benefits. At least four years experience is required in the area of ass-kissing. You must put all of yourself behind, and worship the chair that I fart on.
Have you ever worked in a nursing home cleaning up after old people? It's kind of like that except in a professional environment that won't smell like pee. I'd prefer it if you wipe up after I go B.M...unless it's a "wiping optional" poo in which case I like to gamble. If you are a risk taker you will go far in this business too.
Have you ever seen that new cartoon the Simpsons? I'm not into television much, but I know that Smithers is a good yes man. You can even get a little gay on me too, I can handle it. An additional source you can reference at your own leisure is David Spade in Coneheads.
Take the elevator up to my suite at the 53rd floor of the Prudential Building. Go left down the hall to room 5303 and ask for my secretary, Janice (he's a guy).
NO PHONE INQUIRIES OR FEMALE APPLICANTS