Aug. 23, 2006
A drunken answering machine message from Dr. Vijay Yeshodevsurishwarji to co-worker Dr. Vagtar Bhakt:
Message sent Tuesday, August 12th at 1:33 AM
"...WOOOoooWasted! Hey Vag-Boy it's me Jay. Where the flip are you and your crazy ass? We're all here at Guruji's 85th birthday party and it is the shit! I go up to Rooj's bed to say happy b-day and he's like hey Veej, where's your boyfriend Vagtar and I'm like awwww what a cockmaster! You and I aren't homoequatic know what I'm saying man? For a patient he's pretty funny though."
"But shit check it yo' there's awesome music bumpin' over here. They played my humps and the dj actually busted out the thong song I was like WTF year is it? Don't matter because it drives these girls crazy. So many girls here it reminds me of the ISA.
"We actually moved half of our 15th floor patients to the 14th floor to make room for this shindig. You gotta see this shit we're just running crazy. Needles everywhere and like rubber gloves blown up to look like chicken hats on some of these guys. I think I seen two guys having a race pushing another two dudes on wheelchairs wearing blindfold doo-rags. I'm pretty sure Kunal took like twelve jello shots or some shit, and then started pouring beer in the urinal cups to play beer pong while chanting manglik."
"Oh shit well I guess I'm out vag-boy cuz they brought some shreddin', nugs and grindage. Sorry you pussied out like a little bitch. Looks like everyone is getting laid except you tonight. Tell your wife Sonal I said hi slut. PEACE!"
My 85th birthday party was the shit.