by Bud Selig
Nov. 7, 2006
Selig displays his "Whites Are Number One" pose
Every April 15th, Major League Baseball celebrates Jackie Robinson Day, a moving tribute to the player who broke down baseball's racial barriers. Today, I am announcing another baseball memorial. Today, November 7th, is Frank Robinson Day! Today will not only commemorate the accomplishments of this "talented" "manager," but will also remind us to reflect on the massive exodus of blacks or coloreds from baseball. That's right people, they've finally got the point! So long darkies. Re-raise barriers. Quickly.
Unbelieveable? Is it really? Is it really that much of a surprise? We've given black managers the worst teams in baseball. Dusty Baker (black) gets the Cubs, Robinson gets the Nationals, and Felipe Alou (colored) gets the Giants, a team whose average age is probably 38. Then we (white people) don't even have to look bad. We can fire them because the teams we've put them on can't perform. Then to cover it all up, we give another darky another bad team. Congratulations Ron Washington, I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy at least two years on the Rangers. Like they'll ever make it past the white managed teams out West.
We'd tried to give them the hint before. Did you happen to catch the post-season this year? Did you see that smear on Kenny Rogers' hand? That's right, it was anti-black and foreigner optical dust. Sound insane to you? Well then heres some "insane" stats. The batting average of coloreds and negroes in the entire post season was .137. In the ALCS it went down to .059. And after they made him wipe it off in the World Series it jumped back up to a whopping .071. Derek Jeter was able to sneak in one hit because he's half white, but just one.
The fixing of baseball has been going on forever. Just look at how teams with lots of blacks like the Devil Rays do. Now look at a team with only one tar baby on the starting lineup: the Cardinals, who won the World Series this year, didn't they? That's right.
So light up the fireworks, cook up some apple pie and enjoy Frank Robinson Day. Unless of course you're some kind of jungle bunny then replace fireworks and apple pie, with crack and watermelon.
Oh did I offend you? Whats that?
White Power!